Random Bleach Scenarios and Drabbles
by thesecondcircleofkel
Summary: A collection of random reader insert Bleach scenarios and drabbles that I write when I should be sleeping or doing something productive. Ratings will vary, but I'll put warnings for anything that needs it. There will be various characters, male and female, human, Shinigami, Arrancar, Quincy...you get the picture.
1. Kisuke Urahara: Tease

**A scenario in which Kisuke teases the reader by stealing her phone.**

* * *

"What's wrong, (Y/N)-chan? You look troubled."

You knew by that singsong voice of his that he was up to no good. If there was one thing that you knew about Kisuke Urahara, it was that he loved to tease people, and as the object of his affection, you ended up receiving the brunt of his mischievous actions most days. It always started early, usually right as you woke or shortly thereafter, depending on his mood, and it continued throughout the day until he finally went to sleep. You weren't guaranteed any reprieve by your own sleep; you had lost count of the number of times that you'd been startled awake by some harebrained scheme of his, heart nearly pounding out of your chest and the urge to strangle him getting stronger by the second. Needless to say, you quickly became accustomed to falling asleep at least thirty minutes after him.

You wouldn't trade it for anything, though, even if it pained you to say so. In his own odd little way, he was just trying to show that he cared for you. He loved to rile you up so he could see the fiery passion that he knew you possessed on display; it was one of his favorite things about you, and if he had to suffer a few slaps to the back of the head in order to see that passion, then so be it. He would endure.

You hadn't thought that he was in the middle of one his little schemes right now, though. You had been looking for your phone all morning, under the assumption that you had misplaced it the night before. How naïve you were. You should have known that he was up to something by the fact that you hadn't seen him the entire time that you were looking for your phone, at least until now. There was no telling what he had done to it; attaching one of his weird little inventions to it, hiding it in some ungodly place, letting Jinta bat it off into the distance so you'd never find it again, the possibilities were endless.

He had complained a time or two before that you paid more attention to your phone than you did him, which was an accusation that you vehemently denied on the grounds that it was complete and utter bullshit. How could you possibly pay more attention to your phone when you had to keep a near constant eye on him to make sure that you weren't about to fall victim to one of his pranks? Obviously, he didn't believe you, and had apparently taken matters into his own hands to ensure that he was always the center of your attention.

"Did you lose something, my dear? Your phone, perhaps?"

"Kisuke, I swear on everything that is good and holy in this world, if you messed up my phone, I will end you."

"End me? Your sweet, innocent, handsome, sexy lover? How could you say such a thing, (Y/N)-chan?" As if your slight had actually hurt him, he threw his head back with a hand to his forehead and used his other hand to hold his fan to his chest, right over his heart.

"I hear a whole lot of you feeding your ego, but not a whole lot of explanation for what happened to my phone."

"I'm hurt that you would even think that I did anything to it, (Y/N). As a matter of fact, I just found it, and I was on my way to return it to you, like the kind partner that I am."

With a little flourish, he produced your phone from his pocket. On the surface, it appeared to be fine, but you knew better than to trust your eyes when it came Kisuke Urahara. For all you knew, he could have taken it apart and planted a bomb in it. Not an actual explosive, of course, but something annoying like a confetti or glitter bomb. It would probably be the latter since that had the longest lasting effects, and you were already dreading having to deal with glitter for the rest of the day. He could be so damn immature sometimes.

At least he wasn't showing his morbid side, like he had when he first asked you out. He had first asked you on a date via a message, but said message had been on your wall, written in what you hoped was fake blood. By then, you had known him long enough to catch on to some of his quirks, but it was still shocking to see that particular side of his humor. You had still said yes, on the condition that he cleaned your wall; it was spotless within the hour. He had apparently pulled that trick a few times before, with varying results (mostly with nobody understanding his joke).

"You expect me to believe that you did nothing to it?"

"I swear on my life that your phone is fine, (Y/N)."

"I'll sick Tessai on you if you're lying to me." It wasn't an empty threat, either. If anyone could sympathize with your plight, it was the man that had been cleaning up Kisuke's messes for a good portion of his life.

"It's fine, (Y/N). Why don't you take a closer look and see?"

Against your better judgment, you reached out to try to take your phone from him, only to have him snatch it away at the last second.

"Shame on you, (Y/N)! You didn't even ask for it nicely!"

You had to take a breath to calm yourself down.

"Kisuke, would you please give me my phone, which you apparently found and did absolutely nothing to?"

He must have loved hearing the sarcasm in your voice, too, if the grin on his face was anything to go by.

"I don't know, (Y/N)-chan. I was kind enough to find it for you, but you were so mean to me…I think I might need a little recompense."

You immediately braced yourself, knowing full well that you wouldn't be able to escape what he had planned for you.

"How about…a kiss from my sweet (Y/N)-chan?"

You stared at him blankly for a moment, waiting for him to add some stipulation. He didn't say anything else though, just grinned and tapped his finger against his lips.

"I'm waiting, (Y/N)."

Well, if that was all he wanted, then you could use the situation to your advantage, and kiss him so sweetly that he would either forget what he had planned for you or feel too guilty to go through with it. Either way, you'd get your phone back and make it through the rest of your morning free from his schemes. In his eyes, your mood seemed to lighten up, and a gentle smile graced your face as you walked closer to him.

"Is that all you want, love? Have I really neglected you that much?"

"Just a little."

"Let me make it up to you then."

You gently caressed his jaw as you pressed yourself against him, giving him an even bigger smile in the process. You placed both of your hands on the sides of his neck in order to position him so you could reach his mouth, and with practiced ease, you tenderly pressed your lips against his. His hand immediately came to rest on your hip, and he returned your kiss with as much softness as you had given it with. It was only a single kiss, but it still left you weak in the knees and breathless. As obnoxious as he was sometimes, Kisuke could still be loving and tender when he wanted to. It was one of the reasons that you put up with all of his teasing; he made you feel like a goddess, as if he was just a loyal subject worshiping you like the deity that you were.

And he could do that with just on kiss.

The smile on your face was genuine as you pulled away from him, and he was sporting a cheesy grin of his own.

"Sorry if I haven't paid enough attention to you."

He could practically feel your words as you muttered them so closely to his lips, and he took the chance to give you one more small peck before he slid your phone into your hand.

"As if I could be mad at you, (Y/N)-chan."

With that, he walked away, leaving you standing in the middle of the room, clutching your phone tightly to your chest as you stared off after him. Maybe you really had been neglecting him. Maybe he just wanted you to show him some affection. Maybe he really hadn't been planning on teasing you or pranking you that morning. When your phone started to slither up your chest and leave a trail of slime in its wake, you knew that you were wrong.

"KISUKE!"


	2. Coyote Starrk: Wake-Up Call

**In which the reader gives Starrk a very special wake-up call.**

 **Warnings: _NSFW_ , oral sex, like 2 sentences of light dirty talk**

* * *

Making your way through the halls of Hueco Mundo, you diligently paid attention to all of your surroundings, making sure that nobody was following you. As one of the Fraccíon of the number one Espada, most of the other Arrancar tended to leave you alone, afraid of what Starrk would do to them if they accidently offended or hurt his lover. Be that as it may, you were still extra cautious as let yourself into Starrk's room. You were on a mission, and you would be damned if anyone interrupted you.

Lo and behold, there he was, the Primera Espada himself, one of the most mighty and powerful Arrancar in existence, laying there completely knocked out and oblivious to the surrounding world, mouth open as he let out a stream of gentle snores. He was lucky that it was you that had come to wake him up and not Lilynette. She would have probably strangled him by now, but you, on the other hand, had something special in mind for your Espada. It was your duty as his Fraccíon, after all, to serve him and make sure that all of his needs were met.

Making sure that the door was securely shut behind you, you quietly made your way into the room, going over to the mound of pillows that Starrk was lying on. He was out cold, so it wasn't difficult to get his hakama down without waking him. You probably should have been more concerned by how vulnerable to attack he was in his sleeping state, but that was hardly at the forefront of your mind at the moment. That position belonged to one Coyote Starrk, the man who was about to get one hell of a wake-up call.

You lightly trailed your fingers along his inner thigh, testing the waters to make sure that he was as deeply asleep as you thought. When there wasn't even a break in his snores, you took that as a sign to go further, and you moved your hand so that you could ghost your fingers over his flaccid length. There was still no conscious reaction from him, but as you put more pressure behind your touch, his cock slowly started to harden. You leisurely palmed him until he was fully erect, being mindful not to wake him by doing anything too jarring. A few short quiet groans left his throat, but he always went back to snoring after each one.

You steadied yourself on the long pillow that you had crawled onto, propping your elbows beside Starrk's hips and effectively caging him in as you leaned your head down to trail your tongue along the underside of his cock, following along the prominent vein there as you made your way to the tip. You gave him a light kiss on the head of his dick before you swirled your tongue around it a few times, causing a slightly louder moan to erupt from his throat. He still hadn't stirred form his slumber, though.

After giving him a few more licks, you finally took his cock into your mouth, sliding it past your lips inch by inch but refraining from taking in his whole length just yet; you wrapped your hand around the base of his erection, and pulled your mouth back until only the tip was left inside, before plunging back down as your hand stroked up. This time, his hips bucked up a little, but they quickly fell back down as a hand cupped the back of your head.

"(Y/N)."

You could feel your body heat up as he groaned your name, voice still raspy from sleep. You looked up at his face, only to see tired eyes staring back at you with their pupils blown wide in arousal. His chest was lightly heaving as he let out another moan.

You hollowed your cheeks out as much as you could and started to work your mouth and hand along him at a steady pace. You didn't go too fast, not wanting to knock him out of his state of drowsy bliss. You used your tongue to lap at his head every time you pulled back, relishing in the precum that you found there. Starrk's head fell back against one of his pillows, and his hand tightened its grip on your head as his breathing became louder and louder. You couldn't help but smile against him, proud of the fact that you had been able to give him such euphoria.

"You just don't know how good you look with my cock in your mouth, (Y/N)."

He was looking back down at you now, watching with rapt interest as you moved your hand away and started to take more of his cock into your mouth. You paced yourself and focused on breathing through your nose and relaxing your throat, knowing that he wasn't very fond of seeing you gag or choke around him; he was far too concerned with your comfort to enjoy that.

"You're too damn good to me. I hope you're ready, because I am going absolutely ravish you after this."

You moaned as you finally took his whole length into your mouth, looking into his eyes as you finally increased your pace, still taking in the entirety of his cock while doing so. You could only imagine what you looked like to him then, face flushed with heat, lips wrapped around him with a small bit a drool trailing out of the corner of your mouth, eyes begging him to come so he could hurry up and take care of your needs. Based on the increased frequency of his groans, you could only guess that he liked what he saw, as well as what he was feeling.

In desperation for him to finally reach his release, you swallowed around him and used the hand that you had been stroking him with earlier to gently fondle his balls. His hips jerked against your mouth and you maintained your increased pace, knowing that he was near his end.

"Damn! Keep your mouth open for me, would you, (Y/N)?"

Starrk quickly pulled your head back, and you kept your mouth open just as he had asked. He left only the head of his cock against your tongue, quickly stroking himself to his climax as you gazed up at him. He stared at your mouth the entire time, coming with a loud moan and watching as his release coated your tongue. You greedily swallowed every drop of it as he rode out his orgasm, trying to memorize the beautiful expression on his face as he let go of all negative thoughts and stress.

You yipped in surprise as Starrk grabbed you and pulled you up, wrapping his arms tightly around you as he buried his face in your neck. His hot breath fell in waves against your neck, and it made your whole body tremble in anticipation. There was no way that you could have stopped the loud moan that left you as he lightly bit into the tender flesh of your neck.

"I hope you weren't trying to wake me up for anything important, (Y/N), because we won't be leaving this room for a long time. I need to reward you properly."


	3. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez: Winter Catnap

**You're cold and tired, and Grimmjow decides to help you out.**

 **Warnings: none**

* * *

The weather had been downright abysmal this year. Spring had been nice and temperate, but it was cut short by an absolutely scorching summer that long overstayed its welcome. It seemed like fall had only lasted a week before freezing temperatures started to roll in, and you now found yourself in the middle of the coldest winter that you had ever experienced. No matter how many layers you put on, and no matter how thick those layers were, the cold always seemed to make its way through them and cut you right to your bones. You could barely be outside for five minutes before you started to shiver, making it nearly unbearable to stay out any longer than that.

You wanted to just call it a year and hibernate in your apartment for the rest of the cold season, but unfortunately, you had to pay the rent on said apartment, and no amount of complaining or tears could change that. Food was also nice to have, but it was getting hard to keep your cabinets full with the ravenous Arrancar that was living with you. Grimmjow's appetite was nearly insatiable; you used to only go grocery shopping once a week, being able to get enough food for the whole week in that one trip, but now that Grimmjow had invited himself into your home, grocery shopping had become a daily chore instead of a weekly one. With all of that in mind, you had to go to work, even if you were frozen by the time you got there.

But even if he was making a significant dent in your wallet, you were still glad to have Grimmjow around. That wasn't something you had thought possible when you first met him; he was an enemy back then, but obviously you had caught his attention when you stabbed him during a battle. You were no longer enemies the next time you ran into each other (even if he was still out for Ichigo's blood), and you had seen him pretty much every day since.

Grimmjow always seemed to know where you were, and before he moved in with you, he would pop up in the most random places to walk with you, usually bragging about some of his past conquests in the process. He even started to fight off the Hollows that showed up near you, looking immensely pleased with himself afterwards when you didn't even have to lift a finger in your own defense. You had only invited him over for dinner once in order to show your gratitude, but he took that as an open invitation and started letting himself in whenever he wanted to, and after a while you told him not to even bother with leaving.

You weren't sure when things had turned romantic between the two of you; you liked to think that it was his ambitious nature that drew you in, along with his how protective he was of you, but the mind-blowing sex didn't hurt, either. Things would be perfect if he could just start helping out with the food bill, but it was difficult to find work for an Arrancar that was not only obsessed with fighting, but also completely unfamiliar with how to act in modern society. Maybe Urahara could help you figure something out, but until then, you would weather through the cold in order to feed the overgrown cat.

After a long day at work and a frigid trek to the store, you finally made it back to your apartment. Your nose was completely numb and your toes weren't far behind it. You were afraid that you wouldn't be able to put the grocery bags down, thinking that your fingers were frozen around the handles, but luckily they weren't, and with some mild discomfort, you set the bags down, leaving them there since nothing you got needed to be put up right away. As you started to peel off your many layers of clothing, you noticed that it was oddly quiet. Grimmjow was usually waiting for you right when you walked in the door, but he had yet to appear, though you knew that he was definitely still in the apartment. He was generally loud with everything that he did, but since there was nothing but complete silence around you, that meant that he could only be doing one thing, and it was something that you would gladly join him in.

You weren't sure why Grimmjow needed a catnap (he'd be furious if he ever heard you say it like that), but you wouldn't question it, not when he (the bed) looked so warm and inviting. He was only half-way covered by the comforter, his bare torso exposed as he laid on his back with his arms spread out. You started to take off your last layer of clothing, stripping down to your underwear and exposing as much skin as possible (sans being nude, of course, but if Grimmjow woke up to you crawling in bed with him naked there'd be no stopping him) in order to steal as much of his body heat as you could. He probably had plenty of it to spare, anyways, the damn furnace.

When you turned back to the bed, you were startled to see Grimmjow staring at you with an intensity that should have been illegal. He had obviously woken up to the rustling of your clothing, and he apparently liked what he found. He started to say something, probably something terribly salacious, but you sat on the bed and held your finger to his lips, causing him to visibly flinch away from the cold appendage.

"Shhh, none of that. I'm tired and I'm cold, so make room, Big Guy."

"Tch, fine."

Grimmjow turned to his side, facing you as you turned your back towards him. You didn't even have time to try to slide closer to him before yanked you towards him himself, pulling you fully against him as he buried his face in the back of your neck. He left his arm around you and tangled his legs with yours, and you could already feel his warmth seeping into your skin, causing a pleasant sigh to leave your lips.

"What took you so long, anyways?"

"Store."

"You should've just come back and warmed up first, dumbass. I'd have gone with you later."

"I'm too tired for this conversation, Grimm."

"Then fucking sleep, Y/N."

"Oh? Are you upset because I didn't come back sooner to give you attention?"

"Go to fucking sleep before I throw you outside."

You couldn't help but grin as you snuggled closer to him. He may have sounded harsh, but the loud rumbling coming from his throat let you know just how content he was to have you there with him. As aggressive as the former Sexta Espada was, once he considered something to be his, he did everything in his power to protect and take care of it. Luckily, you fell into that category, and keeping you warm was one of the things that he could do to take care of you. With the steady hum of Grimmjow's purring, you were quickly lulled to sleep, unaware of the watchful and uncharacteristically gentle eyes that remained on you until they finally shut themselves.


	4. Kenpachi Zaraki: Realization

**Summary: One of the winners from an event I did on Tumblr. The prompt was "Just say yes", and the summary was 'I think with this one, I would play off of his SFW Alphabet, mainly the 'L' section. So basically, it would a confession scenario with Kenpachi, right after he realizes that he loves the Reader. There may be some injury involved here, but it would be sweet overall. '**

 **Warnings: none**

* * *

The Fourth Division had never been in such an uproar before. In all of its years of existence, its members had never run around so confused and frightened, all of them having gone through specific training to avoid such a situation, but when Kenpachi Zaraki storms his way through your division, there isn't much else that you can do. It was like they had all entered a different dimension when they woke up that morning- that was how unusual the situation was. The bloodthirsty captain was usually either going the opposite direction to leave the medical division or he was avoiding it completely, but today, instead of adhering to either of those normalcies, he was thundering his way straight into the Fourth Division with a purpose.

If any of the Fourth Division medics had been able to keep their wits about them, they would have noticed where he was heading, but given how frazzled they all were, none of them were able to figure out that he was looking for you, one of the few people that could be considered a friend of his, who had just been injured in a vicious fight with a particularly powerful Hollow. Not once did he get lost as he tracked you down, yours being one of the few reiatsus that he actually cared to keep track of, and he was soon standing in the doorway of your room, looking imposing as he towered there.

The door had already been open, and luckily enough, you were sitting up in your bed, covered in bandages almost from head to toe, but still awake and alive nonetheless. He didn't say anything at first, just standing there in his imposing manner and waiting for you to notice that he was there. It didn't take long for you to feel his glare bearing down on you, although instead of looking frightened or even remorseful for worrying him, you had the nerve to give him one of those smiles that always stopped him in his tracks. He wasn't going to fall victim to that today, though.

"What the hell were you thinking, Y/N?!"

"Huh?"

Your smile immediately dropped, being replaced by a look of confusion. It frustrated him to no end, because it should have been more than obvious what he was talking about given what condition you were in.

"That Hollow was way outta your league! Why were you so damn reckless?! You should've waited for someone else to come and fight it!"

"Since when do you tell people to run away from fights? I don't see what the big deal is, anyway. Sure, I got a little banged up, but I still won! Why would you want me to run away from a fight that could make me stronger?"

As caught off guard as you were by Kenpachi's words, his lack of speech after your retort worried you even more, especially when his eye started to twitch. He did not look pleased in the slightest, and you didn't have the faintest clue as to why he was in such a foul mood. He usually didn't get like this around you, but obviously something had set him off, and you just had to figure out what it was. Of course, he didn't leave you waiting for that answer for very long.

"I don't want you to get hurt, dumbass."

"That's a little inevitable, don't you think?"

You could be beyond frustrating sometimes. Kenpachi wasn't sure how that had gone over your head; he was sure that his words had been plenty clear, and that their meaning couldn't be misconstrued, but apparently, he had been wrong about that. Maybe you'd taken a harder hit to the head than he'd thought, but he wasn't leaving that room until you understood what he was trying to say. He may not have been the most eloquent person in Soul Society, but he wasn't going to let that hold him back, not when he'd gotten so panicked when he heard that you were hurt.

He'd never had to think about what his life would be like without you before, but now that he had…it wasn't a thought process that he was fond of. Romantic love wasn't something that he was all too familiar with, but he was almost positive that that was what he was feeling. Why else had he been so enraged at the thought of losing you? Why else would that same thought make him feel so empty and hollow?

With a frustrated sigh, Kenpachi finally walked into the room, marching straight up to your bed and reaching out to gently grab your chin with his thumb and forefinger. He forced you to look at his face, hoping that his expression would convey the meaning that his words lacked.

"I don't want you to get hurt, dumbass."

You were still confused for a moment, but then he kept staring into your eyes and you were forced to see the worry that marred his gaze. Behind that worry was a myriad of other emotions and feelings, but the ones that topped all the rest were adoration, respect, longing, and…oh.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh, so hurry up and heal so I can drag you off for some training."

"Huh?"

"You think I'm going to let something as weak as a Hollow take away something that's mine? You're not leaving my sight until _I_ think you're ready to go back out in the field again."

' **Mine**.' That was something that you hadn't put much thought into before, not because you didn't want it, but because you didn't think that it was possible. Kenpachi was hardly a romantic person, and the idea of him being in love with somebody was just so…bizarre, really.

' **Mine**.' You wouldn't lie, though, the idea of actually being his was a pretty damn nice one. You'd admired him for so long now, but again, you didn't think that romance was an option with him, so you settled for being his friend instead, content just to be around him on a daily basis. Now that he had (somewhat) confessed to you, though…you couldn't stop the smile that overtook your face, and it just kept getting wider and wider as the realization set in that this wasn't all just a dream, and that Kenpachi Zaraki, of all people, actually had feelings for you. As sore as you were (which was nothing compared to how sore you would be after training with Kenpachi), and as hard as your fight with the Hollow had been, it was still a pretty damn good day to be alive.


	5. Update

Just an update saying that I won't be posting these on this website any more.

You can find them over on my Archive of Our Own page (same user name as here) or on my Tumblr blog (also the same username).

I am still very active on both of those websites and add content somewhat regularly, and they already have a ton of content on them that I couldn't post here for various reasons (especially my Tumblr blog).


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